**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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