I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
