I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Your cock deserves a montage
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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