Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
