I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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