I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
