I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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