whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize