You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
