I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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