My sheets look like a crime scene.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
