sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
