My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
