Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
