Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Your penis caused this!
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