I wish i was in the wii world.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
