Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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