sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Farmville is her only friend.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Just puked most of my soul out..
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
