I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
You ruined the universe
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