Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
