i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
