I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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