Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
