i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
are you so shy because you have an std?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
