Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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