I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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