how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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