I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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