OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
