yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
you will always have a special place in my vag
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
