Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
