Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
