Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
