So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
