We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
