A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Randomize
