Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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