So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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