i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
