does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
