Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
