During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Randomize
