office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
