My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
