East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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