i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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