That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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