Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
