I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
