I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
