The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize