He kissed a someone with a penis
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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