I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
