marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Is Oprah even human
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.