I wish I only lived at night.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?