Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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