Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
