note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
