Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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