Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
